Friday, 20 June 2014

Draw My Life!

Hey guys. Gemma here!

I wanna do something a little bit different here. I'm going to assume you have seen a draw my life video? If not you can check out one here. A little bit of Tyler Oakley as well there! Basically it is a video in which YouTubers, well, draw their lives! Now mines definitely won't be as fun as the videos but I love them so I thought I would give it a go.. but blog style.

So I was born on the 11th of October 1993. Which makes me 20, 21 this year!

And the almost 3 whole years later my sister Sophie was born on the 14th of August. She cried solidly for 18 months. I wasn't too impressed with my noisy lil sis.

Then on the 25th of July 1998 my brother Jack joined the clan and we were set!

Growing up, Sophie was a very, erm, angry kid! She used to beat me and Jack up for the littlest things and we hated each other. One time my gran actually had to pull us of each other whilst Sophie had a fistful of my hair! (I swear we were raised well, we were just psychos!)

Now however, the two of them are my best friends and when I go a day without seeing one of them I feel odd, like somethings missing. Now my sissy is moving to Dundee for uni and I honestly don't know what I'll do. Thank the lord Jack will be here!

Sibling life forever.

In Primary School I didn't really have the best time. I always had a big group of friends and was always sociable but in primary 6, I would always catch my 'friends' saying nasty stuff about me. Even like when I said Danny was my favourite from McFly, it was wrong. One time my main 'best friend' told everyone to 'put your hand up if you like Gemma' and due to her growling at everyone no one put their hand up. Expect for my friend Jonny, I'll always be grateful for that.

So in August 2005 I was so excited to head to Greenfaulds High School so I could meet new friends and new people. I met this wonderful girl called Jennifer and we sat together in all our classes.

However in the November of that year, I started to feel sick in classes and then fainted at the Halloween disco in school. I couldn't even describe what I felt, it was like a cold but with shooting pains in my lungs and back.

With my health getting worse every day, my parents were constantly taking me to the doctors and to the hospital. I was always gave the same answer.. 'She's fine, probably just a virus, she'll be fine in a week.' or something along those lines.

By December I had dropped to just over 6 stone. I was asleep for about 23 hours a day and couldn't have the light on without feeling like it was burning through my skull. The worst thing was that I couldn't stand up. On the 16th, my gran was looking after me as my mum had took too much time of work already. On this day my lungs had started to shut down and my heart rate slowly dangerously down and I had developed Hyperthermia as my temperature was 40C which was causing my other organs to shut down slowly. My gran had to phone my mum to rush her to YorkHill Children's hospital and a kind strange taxi driver carried me downstairs from my bedroom to his taxi. The guy also didn't charge us bless him. (I was so ill I don't remember anything but this is what I have been told happened.)

When I got to Yorkhill I was rushed into the Intensive Care Unit. I had drips in all those little circles in the pic (if you can see them) and life support. The only thing was ever giving to eat was apple flavoured ice to keep me hydrated. This experience I also don't remember much off. All I remember is stealing a nurses scissors and trying to stab her with them, (sorry! I was so high on meds I thought she was trying to poison me) at that point EIGHT docs and nurses were pinning me down. And the other thing I remember.. will stay with me for ever. The sounds of people crying as their children slipped away from them. I will always remember that one boy was 12, my age then, had passed away and I kept telling my parents that I wasn't going to sleep because I didn't want to die. That must have been awful for them.

Slowly getting better (but still high as the kite) I was moved from ICU to my new home, ward 6B.  My first week there I was still pretty out of it and I was still trying to abuse the nurses. The same ones that would slowly become my best friends.

Mid - End of Jan I was allowed home for the night. As I missed Christmas and my family were stuck in the hospital, all my family gather round at mines and we had a late Christmas. My stomach had shrunk due to not eating solids for over a month but it was the best Christmas Day dinner ever. & the best day. I was suppose to write 2006 in the pic oops!

Then in June 2006, I was finally allowed to go home for good. I had made such good friends on that ward, which was mainly for kids with CF as it was the lung ward and how I wish we kept in touch. The nurses became my best friends, playing cards and games with me and such. Now when you hear about kids in hospital you always here about how brave they are. THIS WAS NOT ME. I moaned about everything, Taking meds, getting blood tests, doing physio and always crying that I wanted to go home. Sorry Mum!

Now I am left with only one working lung. I still have the other one in my body but it is just like a deflated balloon. It is affecting my heart and other lung as they are growing to deal with this but for now it doesn't effect me. I sleep on oxygen and have to use it on areoplanes (which always leads to people staring, always adults never kids believe it or not) but I am ok with that because I am here. Compared to 'normal people' I am not healthy. I have good days and bad days but this is the way I am now used to and I feel blessed because I still get to do anything that I want to do and I know there are people much worse off than me. 

So due missing basically all of 1st at school (and also a large chunk of 2nd year, still getting better) I found it hard to make friends as everyone already had their groups. I had friends yeah but everyone all had their bestfriend. In 3rd year I became best friends with a girl named Alison, however we had a big argument and again I felt lonely, with loads of friends but not involved in their group. (apart from my Laura who I met in first year and stayed friends with through all years!) Then in 4th year I became best friends with Caitlyn, a girl I met in 1st but didn't think she liked me. Then I started hanging around her and her best friends two girls I knew from primary (nice ones I may add) and the other I knew from 1st year also and that was us! The gang of 5. They were my soulsisters and I finally felt like I had true friends. It was love.

In School, it is bad to say and I do regret it, I didn't really care about learning and grades. I was purely there for the social life. In 6th year everyone in my year was having 18ths and partying with my girls was my main concern.

Just after I finished high school, the worst day in my life came. My gumps died (grandpa). He was a runner and went out his usual run and just never came back. My Caitlyn moved in with my for a few days at this point. I had never lost any one before and I didn't know how to deal with it.

After this is was in a bit of a limbo. 2011 was supposed to be the best year with my prom and 18th birthday. I'd also booked up my first girls holiday to Malia. (there was now 6 of us then).

Two months after my gumps died, I was starting to feel a little human like again. After serious consideration I decided I would still go to Malia with my friends. Looking back now, I was so so set that I was going to cancel my place and I am so glad I never. My Gumps would have hated that. It was also one of the best holidays I ever had. I can't lie I was pretty much drunk the whole time but it was so care free and just good old fun! (the stories are wicked funny as well ;))

Also when I was in Malia I found out I had achieved 4 highers in school (which I think is like A-Levels in the rest of the UK?) and I was off to the University of Scotland to study events management! (so really I must have secretly cared in school!)

At the end of June I started going on a few dates with this guy that worked in the same hotel as me. We weren't official or anything. We were still going on dates up until I left for Malia and I was sure that by the time I came back he would have lost interest. However after getting a few facebook messages when I was there saying that he wanted to see me when I was back, I couldn't help but be chuffed. On the 25th of August 2011, when we were just chilling in his, he started acting very funny and was completely green. I definitely thought that the 'you're dumped cya' chat was coming! In the end he wrote 'will you be my girlfriend' down and slid it across to me! Bless him. I still have the paper to this date. Nearly three years down the line and I couldn't see myself with anyone else. He is my very best friend. My Sam.

The 19th of September 2011 was my first day at Uni. I have to admit I was proper bricking it. But I was a completely different person to who I was when I started high school. I was such a confident person with loads of pals and I was just so scared I was going to go back to being the loner again. Thankfully that didn't happen and I made some amazing chums, chums for life.

I forgot about my 18th! DOH. Who can forget about that? Well basically I turned 18 on the 11th of October 2011 and had the best time with all my amazing family and friends.

During 2013 I started to feel pretty lonely again. My best friend Caitlyn was doing 6 months of uni in Paris and all my other school bezzies seemed to all be doing their own thing. I hated it. I was so proud of everyone doing what they wanted to do but I would then cry about being lonely at night (sad I know). Then when Caitlyn came home, all though to this day we have never spoke about it, I know she wonders what happened to us all as well. These were my first proper group of bezzies and I just felt like they were slipping away. Then in late 2013, I started to notice all the conversations were started by me, this eventually dwindled too because I felt like a pest and was running out of things to say.  I guess that is just a part of growing up. I know it was me too and I definitely should have kept pestering them. These girls will forever have a massive place in my heart, I could never thank them enough for everything they done  for me in all the years I've known them. I will love and support them forever regardless of how long we can go without talking and they will still be priority guests if I ever get married!

I still have my three amazing best friends though. Laura (you may have heard of her?), Caitlyn and Chloe. I know these girls will be my sisters for life. Each of them have had an impact on me that has made me who I am today. I am not gonna get too mushy even though that is all I have been. These girls are my family.

Also another fact that I forgot was that in January 2011. My amazing big cousin up and moved with her boyfriend to Australia where she is a midwife. I was heartbroken. I have never had someone else like Nicola in my life. She is my best friend, sister, mentor, idol and everything else in one. I was lost. However on the 16th of September, she gave birth to a beautiful Oz baby, named Ava. Then in December she surprised me by strolling through the front door with Ava. The tears were insane as you could imagine. She did tell me she was coming home but she came home a week earlier than she had told everyone. It was the best day of my life.

Jump forward to a few weeks ago.. The 6th of June 2014. I got all my third year exam results back. I HAD GOT MYSELF A DEGREE! ME! I was so proud of myself.

Even though I was so proud that I had got my degree. I had started to question if events was even what I wanted to do. I had got myself an internship at an events place a few months before this and I really wasn't enjoying it. I started to think about what made me happy. The only thing that kept reappearing was make-up. That is what all my family said too. So I was stuck between going back to uni or going to a make up school. One night when Caitlyn, Chloe and myself were having a 'few' beverages before a night out, I booked myself onto a make up course. This way I can at least say I tried it and can always go back to events.

One thing I am sure about it Tartan Fairytales. I love this little blog of ours. I love seeing views and comments and it is so surreal to thing people actually read this and I am so so grateful for people to take time out to do so. I just love spending a few hours writing things I wanna talk about (and hopefully that you guys don't mind reading!) Having a blog with your best friend is the best way to do it.

Going through all that stuff has made me realise just how happy I am these days. Even though I get mad and snappy, like everyone does, I am truly happy. I have great friends, family and boyfriend. I have so many opportunities, to go to make up school, travel the world or even go back to dreaded uni. So even when I am pissed (sorry!) when I am lying in bed attached to my oxgyen machine that I have to use every night to help my little lungs, I still can't help but be grateful. Because all the other amazing things in my life totally out-way my lung problems.

So that is my life up until now guys! I know this wasn't like our normal fun posts and was a bit of a Debbie Downer but hey that is life!! 

I really hope you guys enjoyed getting to find out a wee bit more about my life.

Until next time!

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